Delta Tau Delta's The Road

The Power of Thank You

Delta Tau Delta awards several scholarships to various leadership experiences throughout the year.  Occasionally, I will receive an email sharing the rewarding experience or read about the impact the scholarship has made when I ask for a testimonial from a student.  This week I had a first – I received a handwritten thank you note from an undergraduate member who attended Futures Quest.

The note was on professional stationary, articulately written and very appreciative of the scholarship that he received.  I shared the note with several colleagues, and we were all shocked by the effort this member took to send a thank you note.  While I have never met this student, I am impressed. 

Never underestimate the power of writing a thank you note.  The time it takes to write a note is less than five minutes, the cost to send it is less than $2.00, but the impact is priceless.  The time and energy you put into writing a thank you note is always appreciated.  Try it today.  Send a note of gratitude to someone who has made a difference in your life.

Member Development with a Twist

One of the greatest benefits of membership in Delta Tau Delta is personal development. However, this does not arise naturally or without effort from active chapter members. We have instruments in place to formally develop our members from our New Member Education Programs to the Road, but how can every Delt make sure they are developing others and growing themselves during their undergraduate time and beyond? The answer is simple:  mentorship.

 

One of my greatest mentors during my undergraduate time left me with a piece of advice when I asked about how to create and leave a legacy of excellence. In order to continually develop my brothers and myself, he shared that we should always approach development as mentorship in three capacities: having someone continuously bringing you up, someone along your side helping as you progress, and someone that you are bringing up all at the same time. We need to prepare our members, not only for their future, but the Fraternity’s future as well. Therefore, it is just as important to find a mentor, as it is to be a mentor.

 

When searching for a mentor, it is important to make sure you are seeking out a teacher, rather than a hero. A hero is someone you idolize and represents someone who earns our amazement. While a mentor is someone you respect and earn our confidence and trust, mentors are concerned with teaching, and a teacher seeks to help a person become a better version of himself. Great leadership mentors show strength in their convictions and, specifically in our case, a commitment to our fraternal values and living the Ritual.

 

As a mentor in the fraternity world, it is important to remember that we are not just running meetings and planning events, we are teaching men how to recruit quality members, spread accountability and handle personal finance. Most importantly, we are instructing men on how to lead lives of excellence. The future leaders of our chapters absorb every little action we take. As John Wooden said in his book, A Gameplan for Life, “Whatever the case, you have what it takes to learn at the feet of someone else, and to offer up your own life lessons. You have the responsibility to be a mentor and be mentored.”

 

Will Logan (University of Tennesse, 2013) is a junior majoring in Spanish and world business. He is currently serving as chapter president for Delta Delta and attended the 2011 Presidents and Advisors Retreat and Bethany Leadership Academy. 

           

Ballin on the budget

In a time of economic turmoil, high gas prices and record employment rates, we find ourselves looking to save every dollar possible. If we had the time and effort to be the extreme couponers on “TLC”, everybody could have hundreds of boxes of mac-n-cheese or closets full of toilet paper. The show makes it look possible, but really not plausible for the average person or family. However, there are ways to enjoy some discounts without putting in 40-hour weeks going dumpster diving or cutting out tons of coupons to keep your pocketbook full. Whether it is for a date, a new toy, or an essential item of everyday life, I have provided a few traditional and unconventional methods to avoid paying full price at all costs the next time you are out.

 

 The traditional paper coupon:

For those in the audience who still read the newspaper, you are well aware of the abnormal weight of the Sunday newspaper. If not, it is much heavier with a ton of coupons and savings opportunities for the next week or upcoming season. You can typically find coupons or specials advertised in your student newspaper. Not only will you catch up on the current events throughout your campus, but you can also find your local businesses advertising their drink and food specials directly at you. Beyond newspapers, your daily mail will contain a plethora of junk mail inserts; take a few seconds to grab the ones that matter to you.

 

Digital Coupons:

While we have not moved to completely paperless society as some predicted, we often utilize the internet to bring all information to our fingertips. Why not do the same with coupons? A little time and effort in front of your computer screen will definitely pay off before you head to the mall, grocery store or out to a meal. The first question is: What are your plans? If you are not sure, then you can use sites like Valpak, FreeCoupons and other similar sites to navigate through coupons to paint a better picture of your shopping needs. You can also look in the “freebie” section to see what offers might entice you to visit a store. An example can be found here, which is just in time for the holidays. This article is already saving you money!

 

The more popular websites currently trending on the internet are Groupon and LivingSocial. Both websites have new deals for attractions in your area. It has discounts for hotels, restaurants, spas, family outings, and local attractions. The idea is to purchase these daily deals through these websites at a discounted rate, and the establishment will honor the offer you purchased. For example, yesterday I paid $10 for a $20 gift certificate at MK’s Sushi in Fort Worth, Texas. I saved $10 to visit a place I wanted to try while in the Metroplex area. There are obviously some catches to these sites: the normal expiration dates, limitations and restrictions. It is nothing really to be worried about, but reading the fine print is always important before you purchase.

 

Facebook & Twitter:

Pick your favorite local establishment and “Like” them on Facebook or follow its Twitter account. More often than not, the places you frequent have small specials they broadcast through social media. All you have to do is mention their special and they will take care of the rest. It works extraordinarily well with places that are not national chains. I learned this trick while visiting Bowling Green, Ky. at a lunch rendezvous with a local alumnus in the area. His coupon cut the price of our meals in half.

 

Black Friday & Promotional Codes:

Christmas is right around the corner and the holiday pandemonium is upon us. Whether you brave the long lines or get on the internet to make your holiday purchases, I recommend using BlackFriday or DealNews to plan for your Christmas gifts. Both sites offer you the up-to-date news on deals in stores and online items for purchase. If you will be internet shopping, it is always helpful to use these sites to save a little extra before you check out. If you have ever purchased something online, you will notice a “Promotional Code/Offer” on your total screen. Typically, there is a word or phrase that you can enter to receive free shipping, 10% off, or other savings. Doing so will give you a different total if the code is honored. These sites provide those codes and the success rates of using them. The higher percentage rate, the more likely it will work.

 

Jenny’s Number:

The most unconventional way to save a dollar was presented to me while checking out at a Kroger in Kansas. I was not a member to receive the in-store prices, so the checkout attendant told me to use the phone number 867-5309 - yes, like the song. So figure out the area code you are in and next time you do not want to sign up for the membership card but want the savings, use the phone number - apparently it works nearly everywhere.

 

As the holiday season inches closer and closer, you can take these ideas into consideration and use them to your advantage. Maybe this will spark your interest to becoming a regular extreme coupon enthusiast or at bare minimum save you a few dollars the next time you are looking to spend your money. Happy Holidays!

 

Matt Munoz (University of North Dakota, 2010) is a chapter consultant for Delta Tau Delta Fraternity.

 

Don’t be a nobody - Be a Delt

The recent events at Penn State provide a great example of personal leadership.  It made me think of a poem that has been around for years, but it gets to the heart of the situation at Penn State. 

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Like the situation at Penn State, many chapters have behavior occurring that is inappropriate, dangerous or offensive.  It might be hazing, sexual assault, racism, domestic violence, alcoholism, anorexia, bulimia, prescription drug abuse, etc. What is happening in your chapter that needs to be addressed?  It continues to amaze me how infrequent it is that someone steps up in a chapter and says that our member’s behavior is harming him, those around him and our entire organization.

Next time you encounter a situation that doesn’t feel right think about Penn State.  There were a number of people who could have been somebody.  Instead, they were all nobodies.

Impact of economy on young men

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal describes how the recession has affected men in their twenties.  It is important to see the greater impact that being unemployed can have on your life. 

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052970204505304577000380740614776-lMyQjAxMTAxMDEwMDExNDAyWj.html?mod=wsj_share_email_bot

What will you build?

On Tuesday, Oct. 25 staff members from Delta Tau Delta Central Office volunteered for Habitat for Humanity.  This is the second year the staff participated in a Habitat build in Indianapolis.  Once again, it was an amazing day!

For Delta Tau Delta, the concept of a shelter has special meaning woven into the Delt Creed.  The symbolism of a shelter is described not just as a building, but rather a support network, a place to learn and grow, and a safe surrounding to dream and inspire.  Although many Delt chapters don’t have a house, they have a shelter of brotherhood that provides them a network of support.

The opportunity to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity has shown me that their mission is very similar to Delta Tau Delta’s.  As volunteers, we were able to work side-by-side with future homeowners.  These men and women have experienced struggles in life, but through their hard work and perseverance they hope to build a new home and life for their families.  The opportunity to own a home can provide them with the same opportunities describe in the Delt Creed – aspiration, opportunity, strength and understanding.  As we hung windows, installed siding and hammered in walls, we were able to be part of building the structure for this family and rebuilding a shelter for their life.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that we received as much from this day of service as the future homeowner.  The chance to work side-by-side with co-workers and see the positive impact is a different kind of team builder.  You share informal conversations, see the hidden talents of colleagues and spend lots of time laughing and enjoying yourselves.  While it is hard work, it is a feeling that can’t be duplicated at an office retreat.

Next time your chapter is planning a retreat, brotherhood event or new member activities consider volunteering for Habitat for Humanity.  This is truly an example of living the Ritual.

 

 

Your Pursuit for Happiness

 

When I hear people say “I really want the new iPhone” or “I really want a new car”, I assume that people believe material things will make them happy.  I have to admit I do it to myself as well.  A colleague once told me “more isn’t always better”.  This profound thought has stayed with me and has become more apparent to me as I get older.

As a college student, you might dream about that high-paying job and the luxuries the money will provide you.  You might even find yourself identifying specific toys or trips that you plan to indulge in when you “can afford it”.  The problem is you are focusing on the future versus living in the present.  We all fall victim to wanting more, but what if we started focusing on the present and what we have.

For example, consider the following.

• Are you in good health?  Think about someone you know who was recently diagnosed with a difficult illness or disease.  I am sure they would give anything to be healthy.
• Are both of your parents living? Think about someone who has recently lost a mother or father.
• Are you pursuing a college degree? Think about the millions of Americans who, for whatever reason, aren’t able to earn a college degree.
• Are you 18 years of age and a registered voter? Think about the men and women around the world who aren’t able to voice their opinions and vote.
• Does someone love you? Think about the thousands of people who feel alone, scared and estranged from family and friends. 

In the next year or so you will enter the “real world”.  Life will throw you curve balls and you might find yourself not as happy as you had imagined.  You might even reminisce about where you are right now in life.  When you start to fall victim to wanting more to make you happy remember what my colleague said “more isn’t always better”.  Consider who you are, where you are and what you are doing.  A simple change in your life might be the happiness you were looking for.

Tis the Season

Ah, fall.  That time of year when temperatures cool, leaves change color, new members join our Fraternity, and the bonds of brotherhood grow while celebrating or commiserating over our favorite football teams. (No, despite the performance of my two alma maters, this will not be a diatribe about college football!)

Autumn is always an exciting time on college campuses, watching students return, new students starting their own collegiate careers, and many unaffiliated members investigating whether fraternity life is right for them.    As an advisor I relish the opportunity to showcase our organization to prospective members, hoping our values will align with their own strengths, helping the Fraternity to grow even stronger.  The one thing that constantly negates our advancement is the lingering threat of hazing.

Advisors, staff members, and senior chapter leaders can (and should) do everything within their means to challenge the culture of hazing when it exists within the chapter.  But what can we do about the messages that come from all around us, even from those very football teams we gather to watch together?

It’s always been interesting to me that, at the very same time that movements like National Hazing Prevention Week, online anti-hazing campaigns like #40Answers, and efforts from Fraternity Headquarters, do their best to educate fraternity and sorority members on the dangers and consequences of hazing, football teams do their best to demonstrate that “it’s not so bad” and “everyone goes through it.”

I listen to Mike and Mike on ESPN on the way to work most days, so I was challenged when I heard both of them defending what they referred to as "innocent" hazing activities like head shaving and carrying pads.  They even went so far as to argue that at least what occurs in training camp is tame in comparison to what happens at a fraternity, citing a difference between "dangerous" hazing that involves alcohol or other health risks, and the rites of passage that football rookies need to navigate.  Not surprisingly, Mike and Mike aren’t alone in making this distinction.  Jason Garrett, coach of the Dallas Cowboys, purports to be in favor of banning activities, yet he instituted a policy that rookies would not wear the iconic Dallas star on their helmets until they had “earned the privilege.” (You can read more here).

Let’s apply that doublespeak to our chapters: a fraternity man sees professional athletes do this, and now thinks it's okay to prevent another student from wearing their chapter's letters until they've earned it. Then they can't do anything else until they clean up my room and do my laundry, and they can't use the front door of the house until they've earned that right too.  It's not long before all of that "innocent" hazing turns into the dangerous stuff that injures or, at its ugliest manifestation, kills people, because many college students don't see a difference, and they don't draw that line.

There’s an emerging concept in hazing research called “hidden harm.” Simply put, new member educators, recruitment chairs, or the lone upperclassman with an agenda, can’t possibly know what set of experiences a new member brings with him to the new member process.  What might seem like innocuous education may result in a traumatic experience for the new member.  An example from the NFL again demonstrates this nuance. 

I follow Mark Herzlich on Twitter, and all you need to know about him is outlined in his short but poignant bio: Cancer Survivor / New York Giant #58/ BC Alum.  What makes Mark’s story stand out is that not only did he conquer Ewing’s Sarcoma, he returned to the line-up a year after treatment, and has gone on to earn a spot on the New York Giants’ roster.  Surely a man of his accomplishment and fortitude would not need to pass a rite of indoctrination to prove his worth to his organization.  It was heartbreaking for me to see these two pictures posted within weeks of one another by the official Twitter Feed of the New York Giants. Here’s Mark on August 12 boarding the plane for his debut as a member of the Giants’ pre-season squad. Here’s Mark on August 23, the night he intercepted a pass during pre-season play.  One notable change between the two pictures is Mark’s haircut.  Some of you may look at this and say that this proves the point that an innocent tradition like head shaving has no ill effect on the victim.  After all, Mark plays professional football and remains a proud loudspeaker for cancer awareness.  But part of me wonders whether he endured flashbacks to his chemotherapy treatments, the cause of his hair loss not more than a few years ago.  I can’t presume to know whether his post-interception hair style was self-imposed or done at the hands of his teammates.  I do know there are brothers and sisters among us who have lived through similar personal traumas and don’t have the strength of a professional linebacker to move on from it.

I was hazed in college, and not one conversation about it goes by without me reliving that humiliation in my mind.  Then a wave of regret hits when I think about the people I hazed after me; I wasn't strong enough to break the cycle.  That may be why I work so hard now to help others when they see what’s wrong but don’t know how to fix it.

Many of your chapters are nearing the end of the 8-week new member process.  A profound experience awaits those youngest of Delts as they prepare to see and live their Ritual.    As the temptation to create false rites of passage increases, member educators, presidents, and even Joe Delt, all have a responsibility to stand up against hazing, even in its seemingly innocent forms.  Seek out resources like the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values, draw inspiration from NIC President and CEO Pete Smithhisler’s Call to Action, or seek out responses to what brothers might say to justify their hazing behavior in the #40Answers compilation. Each of you has the Power to stand up against hazing.  I wish you well in having the Courage to do so.

It’s great to be a Delt,

--Jeff Pelletier

Jeff Pelletier is a 1994 graduate of Boston College, and a 2006 Initiate of the Beta Phi chapter at Ohio State University, where he currently serves as the chapter advisor.  He works for the university on the staff of the Ohio Union, managing budgets and operations for the student organization community.  You can follow him on Twitter @JeffBC94

Futures Quest: Breaking the barriers of interfraternalism

When I first heard about the Jon Williamson Futures Quest, I didn't know what to expect.  As a Delt of only a few months, I had never heard of the North American Interfraternity Council, much less the programs it runs.  My chapter's traveling consultant recommended that I apply for the program, as well as the scholarship that Delta Tau Delta offers.  

 

In the middle of December, I left sunny California for the trip to Indiana.  By the next morning, I met Delts from chapters across the nation as well as brothers of other NIC fraternities.  On a sunny, snowy day near the campus of Purdue University, we got to know each other better as fraternity men through a variety of physical activities.  We broke down the barriers between us, and together we learned about what it means to be true fraternity men: how our values define us, how our community values us, and how our Rituals bind us together.  

 

As Delts, we are committed to lives of excellence.  All too often, our undergraduate experiences are narrowed, and are exclusive to our individual chapters and campuses.  The truth is, fraternities of greatness--and men of greatness--are those involved with not only their communities, but also with their interfraternal brothers.  Our struggles in life are shared by all fraternity men around us, whether they are Delt, TKE, SAE, or Phi Psi.  Creating and sharing these interfraternal bonds with fellow Greek men starts with you.  Remember that living lives of excellence isn't restricted to just Delta Tau Delta. 

 

J. Conor Carr (UCLA, 2013) is a member of the Undergraduate Council and serves as risk management chair. 

 

Delta Tau Delta has five scholarships available to men who have joined the Fraternity in the last year.  Apply today to attend Futures Quest at http://www.delts.org/leadership/futures.html.

 

What My Tie Says About Me

There is something special about a tie. What that is, I can’t quite say, but there is something to be said about a man who knows how to coordinate his attire such that his tie tells a person everything that needs to be known about this man. Ties have been woven (no pun intended) into modern society since the European Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648), and they are the national souvenir of Croatia, where ties originated. Despite their interconnectedness with renaissance men and Gordon Gecko, proper tie etiquette can be rather difficult to understand.    

 

It takes nothing but forethought to understand the ins and outs of tie etiquette. There are five major elements of a tie that one should consider before wearing a tie: the man, the occasion, the color, the pattern, and the knot. Let’s start with the man.

 

Contrary to what our founding fathers may have thought, all men were not created equal. Some men are tall, some are short, some are very thin, and some have wide frames. Whenever a man is going to wear a tie, he should keep two thoughts in his mind: Know how you are and know your comfort zone. Skinny ties look great on men with a thin frame, but funny on wider men like me. Also, it is important to allow your personality to dictate your tie selections. If you are an extremely outgoing person, go with a vibrant pattern and color scheme. If not, then stay towards the simpler ties. No matter what you do, BE COMFORTABLE! This does not mean you should wear a tie with your top button undone, but do wear something that you feel confident wearing.

 

When you start getting ready for any event that dictates that you wear a tie, please think about what you are about to attend. If you are going to a formal event, wear a simpler tie. When it comes to ties, less is not more; less is classic. If you are going to a spring or summer outdoor event, feel free to wear lighter colors and fun patterns. If you are going to the Kentucky Derby, it is traditional to wear a bow tie. Also, keep in mind whom you will be meeting. If you are going to an interview and you know that you will be meeting with a woman, do not be afraid to pull out that pink or light purple tie in the back of your closet.

 

Men, we have to learn how to match at some point. This is simple if we allow it to be. First, stay within your color families. This will keep you from looking like an Andy Worhol piece. Also, look at the colors of your clothing in natural light. Follow your gut. If you feel that the colors don’t match, then take the time to find a tie that matches everything else you are wearing. Don’t be too proud to ask for a second opinion, especially one from a woman. You might actually learn something from this experience.

 

The pattern can be where a great deal of men struggle. I live by a rule of thumb that dictates you should only allow either your shirt or your tie to have a pattern - never both. If you are wearing a suit, then two of the three can have a pattern if they are similar patterns. This will keep people from straining their eyes when they look at you; with a multitude of patterns, you grow closer and closer to becoming an optical illusion. Also, understand who you are again. Men with squarer faces tend to look better in striped ties; men with rounder faces tend to look great with floral or paisley ties.

 

Lastly, the knot. Oscar Wilde once said, “A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.” The secret to tying a great tie is practice. Take some time to learn how to tie a variety of knots,  as different knots say different things. A double or full Windsor is understood to be a power knot, while a French knot is a great knot for a date. The instructional site tie-a-tie.net is a great resource where you can look up new ways to fashion a knot.

 

My last piece of advice is to embrace the idea of wearing a tie. The more confident you are in ties, and the more ties you have to choose from in your wardrobe, the more options you will have when it comes time for that big interview or your spouse’s birthday. A great place to look for ties is The Tie Bar (thetiebar.com). They have a great selection and every tie is $15, a steal in the U.S.

 

Have fun, look great, and enjoy the compliments you receive because of a great tie!

 

Resources:

www.thetiebar.com

http://www.croatianhistory.net/etf/cravate.html

http://www.tie-a-tie.net/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKeuucjpckA

  

Ken Tubbs (John Carroll, 2011) has a degree in Classical Languages and a minor in French. While at the Iota Iota Chapter, Tubbs held the positions of director of risk management, president and guide. In addition to his chapter positions, he also served as the President of the IFC. He works for Delta Tau Delta Fraternity as a chapter consultant.